Kat and Mouse’s Bookshelf
Both of us love to read–Kat’s even taught middle school, high school, and college English for 20 years! Here, we share with you our recommended reading on a variety of topics. Some of these include materials exploring various aspects of gambling addiction and its impact on family and friends, while others are works that inspire us and speak to our soul. This section of our website is important to the work we do because we believe that all of us are so much more than our loved one’s gambling addiction. We hope you enjoy what we’ve selected and if you have ideas for books and resources that you want to share, please do so! You can email these suggestions to katandmouse24@gmail.com.
On Navigating Gambling Addiction
These resources tackle the many experiences of family and friends navigating a loved one’s gambling addiction.
Know When to Hold ‘Em
By Damon Dye
When Kat found out about her husband’s gambling addiction, it felt impossible to find information about what it was like to be married to a compulsive gambler: the raw, horrible, hateful emotions of this new life. It was Dr. Damon Dye’s book, still the only one like it on the popular market, that blends scientific data and personal experience. It is both educative and validating.
All Bets Are Off (ages 8+)
ABAO Facilitator’s Guide
By Kathrine Bronsten
When Kat started recovery work following the discovery of her husband’s gambling addiction, she wanted desperately to bring her children into recovery with her. But, their ages–old enough to know what’s going on, but too young for many recovery programs–excluded them from the process. So, after extensive research and counseling, and drawing on her 20 years as an English instructor in middle school, high school, and college, she wrote them into her family’s story–and created a facilitator’s guide for trusted adults in a kiddo’s life to help them through it.
Games Compulsive Gamblers & We Play
By Gam-Anon
Gam-Anon, an international 12-step program designed to support the friends and family of gambling addicts, offers a variety of literature on various aspects of the experience of compulsive gamblers and their loved ones. This one is is especially helpful in explaining the manipulation loved ones experience at the hands of their gamblers, and how to recognize their own part in some of the deceptions, too.
KVB Writes Out Loud
By Kathrine Bronsten
Reflecting on all she’s been through made Kat realize that it wasn’t just the stories she’s taught for more than 20 years in school that explain the wild ways of the world and people’s places in it, but that her own story and knowledge could empower others to write and, thus live, out loud.
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On Marriage and Relationships
These resources explore some of the important connections individuals have in their lives, some of which are complicated by a loved one’s compulsive gambling.
The D Word
By Kate Anthony
Before Kat knew about her now-ex-husband’s gambling addiction, the marriage was heading south, and quickly. In trying to make sense of the decision she had to now make, Kat found Anthony’s book, and it was through one of the suggestions in it that she discovered that her then-husband was a gambling addict. Anthony offers insightful and thought-provoking strategies for confronting one’s marriage, whether one decides to stay or go.
The Betrayal Bind
By Michelle Mays
When Kat found out that her now-ex-husband had been unfaithful to her, she at first wanted desperately to overcome the hurt she felt and keep her marriage intact. This book was incredibly validating and explained the hurt of betrayal she reeled from, and offered practical suggestions about moving on, whether the relationship remain intact or not.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
By Lundy Bancroft & Jac Patrissi
At the start of Kat’s journey, before she learned about her then-husband’s gambling addiction, she believed her marriage was simply heading toward divorce, like 60% of most marriages across the world. It was important for her, however, to hear not just all the reasons why she should leave her partner–she wanted to also know why she should stay. This book, like Nieuwhof’s, offers a uniquely balanced perspective of both sides of this loaded question.
before you split
By Toni Nieuwhof
At the start of Kat’s journey, before she learned about her then-husband’s gambling addiction, she believed her marriage was simply heading toward divorce, like 60% of most marriages across the world. It was important for her, however, to hear not just all the reasons why she should leave her partner–she wanted to also know why she should stay. This book, like Bancroft and Patrissi’s, offers a uniquely balanced perspective of both sides of this loaded question.
On Living Your Best Life
These memoirs, self-help guides, and inspirational tomes have inspired us to challenge our limits to heal and grow.
Untamed
By Glennon Doyle
One of Kat’s most gifted books, Untamed is a narrative of self-discovery, self-forgiveness, and learning to experience a life of self-love. Tackling the topics of womanhood, marriage and infidelity, eating disorder, and addiction, Doyle’s lyrical prose and story of survival is both beautiful and inspiring.
Dare to Lead
By Brene Brown
It’s hard not to be inspired by Brene Browns work on living the fullest, healthiest, most empowered, and most impactful life. This book was Kat’s first foray into Brown’s ouvre and it is inspiring, challenging, probing, and insightful.
Feel the Fear
By Susan Jeffers
This is one of Mouse’s go-to books to gift. How often do so many of us stop whatever we’re doing because we’re scared–of failure, or embarrassment, or so many other feelings that get in the way of our forward progress? This book offers tons of insightful reasons to push through all the fears that try to hold us back.
Complex PTSD
By Pete Walker
Kat’s healing journey began with finding a trauma-certfied therapist. Despite being in therapy from the age of 10, it wasn’t until she hit 44 years old that her mental health journey became one of healing unresolved childhood the adolescent she experienced that was exacerbated by her now-ex-husband’s gambling addiction. This is a layperson’s guide to C-PTSD and how it manifests.
The Body Keeps the Score
By Bessel Van Der Kolk
Aside from being all things amazing, Kat also suffers from serious chronic illnesses, both of which have often stumped medical professionals due to medication resistance and intolerance. Through her mental health healing work, Kat learned that some of the conditions she has are deeply intertwined with the traumatic experiences of her childhood and adolescence, and adulthood married to a problem gambler. This is an interesting look at the ways that mental health and physical health are deeply and sometimes unexpectedly connected.
No Bad Parts
By Richard Schwartz
Disney and Pixar’s Inside Out films were more real than we might have known. Schwartz, father of the Internal Family Systems approach to mental health counseling, debunks the concept that our minds are singular entities and suggests that, particularly following traumatic experiences, our minds split into “parts” that hold the trauma and the responses to it in the moment of experience, and how these frozen parts need love and nurture to heal so that we, in the present, can do so to.
The Total Money Makeover
By Dave Ramsey
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On Glorious Adventures through Space and Time
This collection of fiction offers glorious escapes to places near and far, full of the magic of human experience and imagination.
The Little Shop of Found Things
By Paula Brackston
Kat’s favorite literature always has, at minimum, 2 things: English settings and movement across time. This book, the first of a 4-book series, is magical, playfully integrating elements of the supernatural with British customs and history. It is a true escapist pleasure.
A Discovery of Witches
By Deborah Harkness
Time travel, magic, communities of women, what more is there? This book, the first of a 5-part series and television adaptation, is so much fun and one of Kat’s favorite worlds to revisit. With hidden magic, a world of vampires and demons, and the knowledge that history lives in the present, this book and the ones that follow are transportive.
The Lost Bookshop
By Evie Woods
Kat picked this gem up when she needed a break from all of her research into compulsive gambling and it was the balm her soul needed: a simple read with twist of magic and mystery, and ultimately the story of a woman’s journey to overcome abuse and grow into her power.
The Jane Austen Society
By Natalie Jenner
This playful and easy read transported Kat from 21st-century America to World War II era Britain and the historical moment when Jane Austen’s legacy was nearly lost. Though a fictionalized account, this inspiring story of unexpected friendship, overcoming abuse, and living an authentic life is delightful and inspiring.
The Book Thief
By Markus Zusak
Don’t be daunted by this voluminous epic. It is a stunningly beautiful, heart-wrenching journey through World War II Germany and a book Kat had meant to read long before she did so with her 7th-grade daughter. Laughter, tears, anger, fear–it’s all in here as you experience Liesel’s take on a world shaped by intolerance and prejudice, and her opportunities to witness the beauty of the human spirit and its resilience.
The Forgotten Garden
By Kate Morton
Kat counts down to every new release Kate Morton puts out. Her books are quite literally enchanting, moving deftly between intertwined narratives of the past and the present and taking place in the US, UK, and the author’s native Australia. The prose is beautiful and the stories and characters transport the reader. You’ll devour this and Morton’s other books.
a fire like you
By Upile Chisala
One of the texts Kat teaches on her Introduction to Literature course, African poet, activist, and artist Upile Chisala brings together instapoetry–poetry first published on Instagram and other social media platforms–transforms poetry as you know it. Kat isn’t shy about admitting her fear of poetry, but this accessible, universal, and profound poetry is inspiring.
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Enjoy this puppy pile as we seek out new resources to share!